Resurrections

By GiffanyCD

I see myself in the mirror

A brown-haired girl, with blue eyes, and a wide figure

I’m glad I saw her, and not… my past

I’m glad I’m at least able to escape them

In my mind, they won’t leave me alone

They constantly torment me

THIS ISN’T ME ANYMORE, LEAVE ME ALONE

I can sometimes escape, but some haven’t seen how much I’ve changed.

I can’t resurrect these old habits

It fills me with anxiety

This image won’t leave my head

It’s like a tumor, that won’t go away

I see myself in the mirror

Wait, why is her hair purple?

Her skin looks pale

Her hair looks unkept

She has red eyes

IS THAT, ME?!

What happened

Have my insecurities gotten to me

She’s finally taken form

My Anxiety

She won’t leave me alone

I keep having panic attacks

Her Slasher Smile

It’s getting bigger

It takes up 90% of her face

It scares me

She keeps whispering dark, horrible thoughts to

She won’t stop

I can’t breathe

I can’t do anything

“You’re not an artist” she says to my face

She’s trying to put me down

“You’re not a real girl” she says to me

“You are not real” she snickers

I LOOK AT HER

“If that’s the case, then neither are you” I say with tears in my eyes

She goes away for a while

I’m still myself

Thankfully

But I feel horrible

But I know she’ll come back

Am I not good enough for her

Everyone says I’m beautiful

Everyone loves me and wants to support me

Who told me these horrible things others wouldn’t tell me

DID SHE DO IT?

They all love me

They think I’m pretty

I make them laugh

I’m a good friend

I’m a real girl

I won’t let her get to me anymore

“I’m real, and I’m pretty” I say to myself as I almost break down crying

I go to talk to my friend

I message her, but as soon as I do it, I begin to breakdown crying

“I’m sorry” I type to her

“It’s ok, I’m here for you” she texts me

“Everything is gonna be ok, soon you will be complete” she tells me

I can feel her giving me the biggest hug ever, well I’d imagine if she was her, she would do that

It’s ok Giffany

You’re fine

I’m fine

And I’m real

And you’re real as well

I’ll always be there for you

Thank you for being there for us, Giffany

You ever just exist

So that post I made last night.... I made that while I was tearing up uncontrollably....

Things might get better. I can hope

I'm sorry

I'm so done with my shitty life. I just treat everyone like garbage and do more damage to my family than they have

I'm miserable, I just wanna be a real girl.

I've been nothing but a burden to my mother.

She will never know the pain I go through, and I never wanna see her face again.

I wanna leave this place. I WANNA GO HOME

me making LGBT pride flags at 10PM instead of studying for my algebra test tomorrow

Nova obvously gets a Transfeminine background (obviously)

Ozone is genderfluid in cannon (so why not, you happy Cube)

Auth likes girls, enough said

Lesbian

My favorite gender

Ok, now you're not taking this seriously

Phantome is Genderless and probably Non-Binary (They/Them Pronouns or something)

Tiffany just like me FR

Bonus:

Aw hell nah, EXEs have Pronouns, fuck that shit I'm out

Hey everybody, it's me, GIFFANYCD, and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

anyways FAQ time cause I gotta answer some shit.

Q: How would you describe your art

A: Good question, how bout I leave you alone with this guy instead (monochrome starts to play).

But in all seriousness, I'd say it's very PhantomArcade-like, but it's so different art style-wise, my style is sorta its own thing.

I'd say it's more like the Celeste art style, but more Newgrounds.

Q: Do you see yourself as Giffany still, also what happened to your ribbon

A: Well I'm still Giffany, but I was never Giffany from Gravity Falls. just someone who identified as a clone (kinda like how Dumbsville's sona is just Obi-Wan Lego Minifig, but more cring). for all of you wondering, my name isn't Giffany IRL (I wish it was but I'd go crazy if it was). my preferred name is Nicole, for those who don't know. and I'm probably gonna change my legal name to something different for reasons.

as for the ribbon, well it makes me look too much like Giffany, and I need to differentiate myself from her. also it was just a tumor I wanted to get rid of. so I'm glad I changed my look to the current one.

Q: How's school/ your living situation going?

A: School's going better now, but I'm still tired all the time (probably cause I'm up at like 12 AM at night all the time).

and as for my living situation, I think it's getting better. I might no longer be homeless, so that's good.

Q: What's the Status of Vs Nova?

A: Well, I'm working on it on and off. Like I get some sprites and music done. but then I lose motivation to add it to the game. I'm hoping I can release something for the 1 year anniversary of the mod.

I have to shorten my original idea for the mod, it's probably just gonna be one week, with like maybe 2 bonus songs if we're lucky...

I'll still make some new songs for it.

Q: how's your transition going...

A: it's going fine, I'm still not on HRT, and I still have just been waiting for my hair to grow past chest length. Hopefully, soon it will grow more.

I'm hoping I can start HRT since I've heard I might actually feel better emotionally, and I honestly won't give a shit about hip or boob pain. since I want them to develop

Dosen't help that my mom gets pissy when I talk about this stuff with her. she sounds so disappointed. I'm legally an adult so I'm pretty sure I'm able to take it without parental consent. affording it is gonna be the real problem.... again I should take commissions/get a fucking job

Q: You've been talking about FNAF a lot... u ok?

A: I'M FINE AHHAHAHAHAHAHHAA.... ok It's because I've been studying this franchise since the 2015 grade. I need to know everything to make the Ultimate lore timeline and solve everything. then I can finally solve funny Feddy fnaf game

Q: Do you still use Discord?

A: not really, it's an easy platform for people to bully me over shitty drama, or they just have a grudge against me. so I'm not inviting anyone to my server anymore and is just gonna use it to talk to my friends

Q:Who's Cassandra? are they a real person

A: no, it's my cringe-ass imaginary girlfriend I made since no other transfems my age wanna ever even attempt to go out with my crazy, disgusting ass...

If I ever get an actual girlfriend, Cassandra might not be a character anymore, since nobody IRL girls like me, Cassandra is here to stay (for now that is)

(Imagine I meet a transfem woman IRL named Cassandra with blonde hair and a Swedish accent IRL. like that be fucking hilarious if it happened.... and let's be honest, I'd be more paranoid than ever since my creation somehow became real... I'd start questioning my sanity)

Q: hey, what's going on with Libitina

A: You know, I'm actually considering just scrapping all of my plans with her, and just truly letting you all do whatever you want with her.

it's just a shitty recolor of Giffany with mildly cool lore... I might finish Triple Trouble Libitina mix... but after seeing kaizo mix, I've given up hope in Triple Trouble.

anyways that's all I got, I gotta at least attempt to sleep

GN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFS7ye3An3U

here it is

go watch it

I'm taking a break from Discord, I've had too many incidents this year alone. too many people saying horrible shit to my face.

I'm just gonna say it, it might as well count as verbal abuse with the words they pull outta their ass...

I'm gonna chill here and post art instead of using Youtube or god forbid Discord.

I handle bullying pretty badly.

You know, this last week ruined my mental health, and I may have even soiled my reputation. but I wanna look past it. I messed up. So, I shouldn't let it ruin me inside.

I've been trying to recover from what happened recently. I wanna apologize to Cube and everyone who got involved with the drama. I may have gone a bit too far with my actions.

Cube, I didn't mean to do the things that I did, but I'm sick of being the only one to notice your actions sometimes. maybe someday we could be friends again, but only if you're willing to change. and only when I'm ready to not act like an asshole anymore

Well now that that's over with, I'm gonna lay of Discord for a long while. I know some of my IRL friends use it, but I'm really burnt out ATM... anyways, before I go to bed, here are some things I was working on while I was away

I came up with a new form for Libitina, sorta her true form in a way, I wanted to make her look even more creepy than she already does. I also updated the lore a bit. Might post that tommorow

here's some art I did for a recent video I made. since the video quality was pretty shit, here's an HD version of the art I guess

Oh. and I made this.... I'll explain another time who this is... her name is Tiffany and she's a cutie-pie. let her cook

she spin

speen

OK GN

THIS MAKES ME HAPPY

anyways, I'm able to draw actual shit again, without borrowing someone else's tablet

here's a sketch I made

Holy cannoli Mario, Alien Hominid getting an Orange. BM looks pissed about that

anyways, GN